February 19th 2012
This time last week we were at the woods with both dogs. Zeus was enjoying running around, he was fine. At 19:25 I phoned the emergency vet to tell them he was bloating and needed to be seen straight away.
Three hours later he was gone forever.
Nine years Zeus was with me. It feels kinda like losing my son all over again.
February 13th 2012
A couple of hours after I posted yesterdays update Zeus had to be rushed into the vets, he had developed gastric bloating. The vet performed emergency surgery to try and save his life... they managed to untwist his intestine, but his spleen was massively enlarged so we made the decision not to wake him up.
February 12th 2012
We currently have no hot water due to a frozen pipe somewhere... plumber has been out but cannot get to where he needs to get to so we just have to wait for it to thaw. Once it's thawed, if it turns out to have burst then he'll come back and take the kitchen apart to fix it... I washed my hair under the freezing cold kitchen tap (the only flowing water in the house) and with the help of three full kettles of water and a washing up bowl managed to have a warmish wash. The weather forecast claims things start warming up from today so fingers crossed I'll be soaking in a hot bath this evening.
Dear old Zeus is really showing his age now. He struggles to get comfortable in the car as he has so many lumps and bumps - thdere's one massive lump on his chest that causes most upset for him. Vet says there's nothing to do about it due to it's location... poor old boy. Most of the time he's still happy but his back end is very weak and wobbly now... he is an old dog but isn't ready to go anywhere just yet.
February 7th 2012
As you'll have seen, I redesigned my site again... and I've had more ink done...
Still a few hours of work to do but it's coming along very nicely. More work to do on the 18th.
February 4th 2012
Yesterday I had to see the dentist; it was my first visit for seventeen years because I really do not like dentists. Over the next few weeks I have to have root canal work done on one side and an extraction on the other - all in teeth that first needed work when I was sixteen.
The whole thing is really getting to me because I had no problems at all with my teeth until something really bad happened when I was sixteen... six weeks of basically being kept prisoner, not allowed to eat, sleep, or even wear clothes... only allowed alcohol to drink (Stella Artois) and being forcibly injected with cocktails of drugs, not to mention the beatings and sexual violence. Yes, it sounds totally unbelievable I know... that's why when I escaped from his flat halfway through (wearing only knickers and a coat) and was taken to hospital by police I ended up in a psychiatric hospital being brainwashed into believing I had imagined it all. He was a charmer, that's what he told them, they believed him - nevermind all the pysical evidence of what I had been through. Dr Joseph and his team at the Campbell Centre managed to convince me that it had all been in my head and that he was a nice man really, so back I went for another three weeks of hell.
When I finally got away for good, with the help of mother (who knew what he was like before all this happened but didn't even bother trying to warn me... ), I had various medical appointments to deal with the after-effects of what had happened and one of the issues discovered was the dental decay caused by malnutrition.
The dentist took several x-rays and says I have no other problems with my teeth except the ones that were a direct result of what he did to me. It just isn't fair. I did nothing wrong.
January 28th 2012
Nearly the end of January already; it's gone quickly as usual. I'm kind of stuck at the moment as Fly cat is sitting very comfortably on my back... would like to move but Miss Purralot won't budge...
So, Harvard has scrapped the traditional food pyramid and replaced it with the below -
I think it's much better to be honest... still way too many animal products though, they're just not needed.
Anyway... now I HAVE to move as the visual distrurbance in front of my eyes is telling me it's migraine time. Night all.
January 14th 2012
Finally, I can do an update! My old laptop crashed and took everything with it but I've another laptop now and have just managed to retrieve my FTP login and site files.
December was a fairly chilled month, I had holiday to use up so worked one full five day week and that was mostly quiet and relaxed. We both had the first week of January off work too. By the time I got back to work last Monday I was relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready to face the world again... it didn't even last two days, reality soon returned with a crash.
During that relaxed time, I had a lot of time for thinking about things and have made a few decisions. As much as I am enjoying my psychotherapy training, the late night every Tuesday is doing me no good at all as it has a knock on effect throughout the rest of the week - I am going to finish the course, assuming exhaustion doesn't get in the way, but I am not taking it any further. I may continue to read on the subject and learn at my own pace, but no more formal training and I have no intention of making a career in this area either. It's so good when I actually have time to think properly rather than just going with the flow of each day merging into the next!
I spend my childhood being a carer and dealing with crisis after crisis, both emotional and practical - I don't want to do it anymore. I help people when they need help and this will always be the same, it;s just what I do... but I do not want to put myself in the position of actively inviting desperate strangers to come to me for help, I don't want this to happen and I genuinely don't believe it will be of any benefit to me (in fact quite the opposite!). It is time for me to focus on making things better for myself rather than trying to fix everyone else; other people are responsible for themselves and their own lives - I am responsible for myself and my own life, and it's high time I started working on making my life better rather than running around after everyone else. After all, the year of the dragon is my year... :-)
My Fly cat has had her dental work done and is so much happier now, it's wonderful :-)
January 7th 2012
Well Fly cat saw the vet... her mouth is really bad :-( She's had an antibiotic injection and a steroid injection and is booked in for a major dental on Monday. Poor girl is is lots of pain but does seem to have picked up after the injections. She's never needed the vet before, except for routine neutering and microchipping, so was absolutely terrified and shaking - I hope she realises it is all about helping her! She certainly seems happier since the injections so fingers crossed!
January 6th 2012
I've just had to book a vets appointment for my least handleable cat as she has a very sore mouth... it's not going to be pretty, or cheap... but she needs it dealing with.
On a happier note, here's Loki again...
January 5th 2012
Well the annual birthday notice for my son has been published today, he is sixteen now and no contact since he was nine.
But on a happier note, I have a new kitten... meet Loki -
Another positive is that I was able to do a workout today and now have them all planned up until the 13th so no excuses.
I'm feeling thoroughly fed up today, due to it being my son's birthday, so am off to bed now - early night called for.
January 4th 2012
I haven't been able to do a workout since the 30th Dec as I strained my "serratus anterior" muscle and needed to rest it. Then on the 31st I had my right forearm tattooed and it swelled up lots, and yesterday I had the rest of my arm tattooed and it's a bit sore... but the pain is worth it as it is going to look amazing when finished! Can't get any more work done on it until Early Feb now - I can't afford it until I've been paid, but my skin needs that long to recover anyway so all good.
January 1st 2012
Well what better way to start the new year than with a visit to a very special friend that we aren't able to visit as often as we would like. OK it meant we were in bed asleep before the clocks stuck midnight for the start of 2012, despite calling in on two new year parties last night, but it was well worth it to see Siân again - we had a lovely visit as always, I just wish we could see her more often.
So this is 2012, once the Chinese new year kicks in on the 23rd it will be the year of the dragon, and as I am a dragon, I'm marking it with another tattoo (as if I need an excuse... ) so now have the outline of a Chinese dragon right around my right forearm. I'll post pics when it is finished.